Reasons My Husband Hates Target

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Disclaimer:  Andrew hasn't actually told me the following things; this is based strictly on observation.

  • The minute I walk in the store, I fall into a trance.  I hear nothing the man says, avoid him steering me clear of select aisles (namely the $1 section) and purposely loose him in the store so I can get lost in all the Target glory.
  • Like most women I know, I have a routine when I go to Target.  There are departments that must be seen on every visit, even if I know absolutely nothing has changed.  These areas include the book section, the office supplies, and shampoo/lotion aisles.  This gets old quick for him.  And he pitches a fit every time I go to these aisles.  But alas, they are a Target requirement.
  • Every so often, Target partners up with big names or carries limited editions of certain things like the Neiman Marcus collection or the Oh Joy! party collection.  The day I gave birth the Peter Pilotto collection came out; two days later I bought a bikini.  Why?  Duh...because it was a Target limited edition.  I wouldn't be caught dead in a bikini though right now.  Hopefully by summer.  Late summer.  Of 2015.
  • I go there for travel size toothpaste and shampoo for a trip and come out with toothpaste, shampoo, a new toothbrush, colorful pens, a new notebook, a big purse to use as a carry on, some snacks for the trip, two new books, a cd (cd's always look more appealing in that store than they do when you get them home), a $50+ receipt and a giant smile on my stupid face.  Only to be greeted with another disappointed look on my husband's face.
  • This happens.  Need I explain more?
  • The lines are always ridiculously long which gives me more time to decide which magazine I must have.
  • Every white dog with short hair reminds me of the Target dog with the red around his one eye.  I make sure I let my husband know he's the Target dog.
  • Whenever I see red, I think clearance.  Isn't that how most people's minds are set to think?  So when I see a red price tag at Target, I automatically think the item is on sale.  This may or may not be the reason the above receipt total happens once in a while.
  • The dollar section has robbed our bank account of hundreds of dollars and there is absolutely nothing to show for it except bunny shaped post it notes.
  • Target has Starbucks inside.  It also has Icees.  There goes at least another $4-$5.
  • He never believes me when I tell him I have to make a real quick stop at Target.
  • He asks to see what I bought at Target when I get home.  After I show him everything, he says "and what else?".  Yeah...the man knows me a little too well.  Don't check the trunk!
  • When he goes shopping with me there, I fill my cart like I always do and I always slowly end up putting things back until I realize I didn't even need a cart.
  • Sometimes when I am getting vacation fever and we don't have anything planned for the near future, I go shopping at Target.  Then Andrew looks at the budget and sees we might as well have just taken a vacation somewhere.
  • When I haven't gone to Target in over a week, I start to get the shakes, my words get a little jumbled and I feel a bit lightheaded.  Those are usually the days he goes with me so I can walk the aisles and calm down instead of buying the entire store.

4 comments:

  1. So funny! My hubs hates going to Target with me too. Here there are Targets in the malls so it's double trouble! lol.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Haha, all of this is so true! It must be ingrained in every woman to love Target and ingrained in every man to fight it. The struggle is real!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ha, I love this blog post! It is so true-I'm completely addicted to Target too:) Thanks for the fun post, it makes me feel a little better knowing I'm not the only one!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Haha this is a GREAT post! So true and happens to all of us! It just sucks you in!

    Lindi
    Sweet Southern Sparkle
    www.sweetsouthernsparkle.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete

CopyRight © | Theme Designed By Hello Manhattan